5/10 The Day of Being On the Evolutionary Path

Pouring over my recently installed statcounter on my blog and finding that I have readers all over the world. The continental US and Hawaii, Costa Rica, Mexico, Italy, Spain, Great Britain, Germany, Japan, Mumbai! Wow. Those can’t all be family.

Pollywog check. They are beginning to climb out of the pond like some sort of instant evolutionary path. Now they look more like frogs than fishes.

Feeling like the possibilities I have been working on for, oh, years… maybe decades are starting to come together. Or maybe the momentum towards these activities is picking up again after so many years.

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5/9 The Day of the Pollywog

Bedtime is going back to being fun and not an ordeal. Still a small struggle, but much better. They both get into bed with their various toys for the night and blankies and bobos and books to “read” to themselves. The boy, at least, does not really go to sleep right away, and often is up for quite some time, but I think he’s developing some strategies to deal with his wakefulness, especially combined with his newfound awareness of good guys and bad guys and the scary monsters.

One really sweet ear of corn that was just yummy. Not until I tasted the others did realize the difference between really good corn and just corn.

Pollywog check: Ladies and gentlemen, we have pollywogs. One of them was sitting on top of a lily pad. Another was floating in the pond off to the side. G and Ivy both got to see it before the boy made some loud noise and scared the pollywogs away.

G calls tatertots “babies.” I thought that was cute.

Animal crackers.

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5/8 The Day of the Training

Here come the sitcoms! Yay until the summer hiatus, anyway.

I trained at the new restaurant and it looks like it will work out. It’s casual and laid back, and I think I can get some decent part time schedules, and I am probably the most experienced of the new hires, so if someone goes, it won’t be me. I saw that I could totally handle the job. It’s an old restaurant that has new owners and is being opened again after a few months of being closed, so there was some worry about have a clientele, but this was the first day of reopening, and the regulars were all coming back which means we will make some money [knock on wood]. I think I was really lucky that my step father saw the hire sign the day I was job searching, because there’s not much hiring being done these days.

Sitting with my mom and step dad in the new job after I was done training, chatting and having a beer with them before they dropped me home.

Coming home from training to see the little guys, read them a story and tuck them in.

Going to work was like being on vacation! Lets see if I feel that way after a full day’s work.

Finally getting statcounter to work on my blog and finding I have more than ZERO readers. A couple dozen, in fact. Surprised the heck out of me. Maybe I’m coming back into the world.

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5/7 The Day of Monsters Painting

ANTM. Almost to the end. We’re down to three “pretty girls standing here before me.” I was too full for my brownie batter tradition, so I had a couple small pieces of chocolate and was good with that.

Dinner at Biff Burger with Grandma and Grandpa Rick. Kids had lots of fun. There were tater tots and motorcycles, and a new toy, and of course grandma. Happy for grownups, too, because we got to have a little relax time.

Ivy went to Grandma voluntarily. No crying, no hiding. She wasn’t exactly running up and hugging her, but she’s getting there.

Went to a thrift store and wandered through the toys and videos. How much fun did the kids have then? I think it might have been fun for G to have to pick only one toy. Choosing is fun, even if putting toys back is not. He ended up getting a Hotwheels Dragon castle thing.

Painting with the kids. They really enjoyed it. Ivy said “paint, paint.” Sometimes I forget how young she is, because she sure talks a lot more than G did at her age.

I finally picked up my paint set and painted a little drawing I had in my journal of animal/people in the woods. G and Ivy were enthralled. That’s why we took out their paints, too.

I think I want to go back to the old idea of selling my artwork on etsy. Or maybe down here in Florida, because for all of it’s weirdness, St Pete is a very artsy town. But the idea I had a long time ago to make a monsters alphabet is coming back. I can see how I might achieve it. The planning I did before being overtaken by the need to move is actually starting to make sense. And my uncle thought it was a great idea, too.

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5/6 The Day of "Man! This is Good!"

Tacos for dinner. G said, “Man! This is good!” which was really nice, because his verbal ability has been kind of spotty. He’s been talking a lot more since we came down to Florida. I don’t know if it was the change, or he was just ready to start talking. Of course, he didn’t eat the tacos straight up. He basically had tortilla chips dipped in mild salsa and topped with taco meat. No tomatoes or lettuce. Little cheese. He did however ask, quite clearly, for chocolate.

Looks like I got a part time job waiting tables. I’m going in to train on thursday and I have a tentative Saturday and Sunday evening shift. Phew. Let’s see how it goes.

The kids were playing out in the garden with some water “gun” sea animals. They really enjoyed it, although Ivy couldn’t quite shoot the shark or dophin water projectile. Lots of laughter. Lots of wet kids.

My back is slowly getting better. Still hurts, but not constantly, and I can go some time without using the back brace.

I am still on the email list for G’s playgroup and they sent some photos today. It’s a little bittersweet, because I miss my mom friends, but I like to see how big the kids are growing.

The way Ivy struts when she walks.

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5/5 Cinco de Mayo or The Day of the Job Search Continues

Went out with my stepfather to troll the restaurants in the neighborhood filling out applications. It doesn’t sound romantic…well, I take it back. It does sound a little romantic to me. Waiting tables part time while staying at home the rest of the time with my kids. I had a lot of fun waiting tables in my 20s. It wasn’t all fun, but a lot was. Had a good lead, in fact the guy says he’ll call me tomorrow, so I might even have the job, and we ended up with my step father buying me a burger and beer at Biff Burger, this outdoor bar and grill he likes to go to. He says that’s my vacation from the kids.

In my wanderings, I found an English style pub that not only has guinness, but also has a little play ground where the kids can run around while the parents watch from the porch tables! And it’s only about five blocks from our house! As soon as one of us gets a job, we can have some outings there. S misses his pub.

G and Ivy chasing each other. They both were laughing the entire time. And they stopped this short from actual wrestling. They are getting very close to being able to really play together. I guess this is the benefit to having them so close together.

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5/4 The Day of the Light Saber

I went through the last month’s photos on my computer and deleted probably hundred of photos. I feel good about this because I have so many photos in there that I have no more space on my computer. And also because I have so many photos it is too overwhelming to do anything with them. I’m going to take it as a creative, editorial endeavor. I am hoping that from now on, I will save fewer, but better photos, and not have this problem. And hopefully it is one more step to me getting my photo load under control and maybe posting more pictures.

Emails with old friends. There’s been a lot of that this month, thanks to facebook. No, I don’t need another addiction, but I really do want to be more social and keep in touch.

I made G a light saber out of a flashlight and a rolled up tube of paper taped to said flashlight. He loved it. He watched Return of the Jedi again while swinging it.

Ivy says “beans!” now. It’s very cute. “What do you want for lunch, Ivy?” “Beans!” even though it sounds more like “Bee! Bee!”

Tadpole check. Saw another tadpole with tiny legs growing, not a pollywog yet, I don’t think. Any day now and the froggies will be jumping all over the place. How big do they get? I’ve never actually seen tadpoles go through the process before. It’s neat.

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5/3 The Day of Full of Beans and the Farmer's Market

Ivy, who is not really that enthralled with books and/or reading, not only laughed and turned the pages of Brown Bear, Brown Bear by Eric Carle, but also asked for another go round.

At the end of dinner, G was feeding Ivy the leftover beans that he found on every one’s plates. They both like beans, neither really like rice. It was cute to see him giving her the yummy beans, and it made both of them happy.

After dinner, G and Ivy played growling with each other. Sometimes, it was more like screaming, but it was definitely a game for little guys who were full of beans.

During and after dinner, I was composing a blog post in my head, and when the kids went into the garden to have their milk with papa, I went to the computer and wrote.

Experimenting to try and come up with a dish like my grandmother’s rice and beans. Well, it should actually be called Habichuela Guisados y Arroz de mi Abuelita. (If anybody would like to correct my Spanish, I am good with that.) It didn’t really taste like hers, but it was yummy and I am getting closer.

My mom came and picked me and the kids up to go to the Crafts and Farmer’s Market downtown. I don’t know what they really call it, but that was the gyst. We walked around. The boy ran to and fro chased by Grandma (hehe). The girl rode in her deluxe stroller. We listened to music. We watched the sights and the folks. We looked at the art and craft booths, the kids had a cookie. We tasted chips and salsa (I might go back and get some salsa when we get a job.) Then we stopped at a sidewalk cafe and had juice/muffin for the under agers, and mocha frappes for the bigguns. Junior stole grandma’s frappe, though, and we gave him some in his straw cup. Then home and straight to nap for them. So tired, not even the caffeine mattered.

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5/2 Also the Day of Breakfast for Dinner and Star Wars

We had pancakes and a sausage, mushroom and scallion frittata, with cheddar. It puffed up so nicely in the oven.

G watched The Return of the Jedi and he loved it. Now he’s seen the whole original trilogy.

G thought the Ewoks were teddy bears and wouldn’t allow me to tell him any different. I went to get his teddy, because he wanted one of the ewoks.

Went through the last month and a half of photos and some of them are pretty good.

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5/2 The Day of Keeping Track and I Like the Word "Pollywog."

Ramen noodles. I know they’re terribly bad for you, but they sure do hit the spot as a cheap, quick meal/snack.

I sent a resume out to a tutoring company through Monster.com. At least I can feel I got something done today.

Started marking down the things I have done in a day in my calendar. Mostly comments on blogs, or, like today, the resume sent. This is stuff for the future or for community that could easily get lost. Just like to keep track of what I am doing so I don’t feel like I am just aimlessly surfing the web.

Chatted with an old student on Facebook. It was nice. He’s running an afterschool program on the Lower East Side. He wants to teach but also wants to pursue anthropology. He makes me proud.

I levelled up to the next Vampire on Facebook. AND I got a new minion. I am such a dork.

Going out in the morning to look at the fishpond. I check to see if the tadpoles have become pollywogs yet. I think their legs are starting to appear. I don’t know exactly how it happens, but they are less round and more bulbous. The boy is interested, too, but he doesn’t really know what is going to happen, despite seeing the transformation on Curious George.

Waking up to the baby girl calling. Going into her room and having her raise her arms for me to pick her up. She was wearing her big brother’s pajamas, because we have to do laundry and she needed long sleeves last night, so she was all cute and boyish in her floppy pajamas.

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5/1 The Day of Bad Back Naps, Yummy Foods and After Bedtime Nibbles

Lots of new tv. Sitcoms, which I feel starved for, and Lost. Good times. Good times.

Chocolate, just when I needed it and couldn’t resist the nibbles any longer (I have recently decided that I need to watch the nibbling, but refuse to make a goal about weight loss on general principle.) A little chocolate, but no other snacks, good.

Bedtime stories in mama’s and papa’s bed. And then they must have been so tire that they just dropped off without fighting it.

The boy ate sausages. Another food that has re-entered his diet. Still no pasta… BUT he does like ramen noodles. He will eat anything if you call it “soup.” Maybe soon.

The girl, however, was in the pasta up to her eyebrows. And kept asking for more.

Fell asleep while the kids were napping. I lay down to rest my back and just went to sleep. Usually I can only nap when I am sick… I suppose the back thing counts.

Made orange cranberry muffins and the kids had them for snack. They are very sweet. They came out of a box. I think I need to go scratch. Did I say this before?

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4/30 The Day of "This is What it's Like to Be Alive."

“This is what it’s like to be alive.” Robert Hass on poetry and what poets are saying.

Poetry talk on PBS, last day of Poetry Month. I like that the poet is not some young buck, but a man who has lived and shows that he lived. There is still hope, there is always hope.

Bedtime, with the girl running around and rolling in her baby alligator death-roll ways, trying to get away from or lure sleep. The boy sitting on the bench while papa reads him a book. Every rhyme makes him laugh, and he repeats the last word. “Cake!” “Buy!” “You!”

The boy ate the chili! Not when I called it chili, but when I called it soup and fed him from my spoon, he said, “mmm,” and asked for more. He also ate some rice, as long as it had soysauce on it. And a bite of corn. Hmm. This week, he has been very adventurous with food…knock on wood, I hope it continues.

Letting the kids play in the cabinet at my feet, with pots and pans…until it got too rowdy and they had to leave the kitchen. It gives hope for a time when I will be able to cook with them in the same room.

Midday movie, the benefits of being unemployed.

My bad back has allowed me to spend all my spare moments laying down, without guilt. I don’t have to get things done, I just need to relax and stretch out what has been pulled, until the little ones demand I get up and chase them or lift them or whatever it was that screwed it up in the first place.

And it is, once again, ANTM. I hope the young girls/wannabe models will make me laugh with their pathos and sigh at their beauty.

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4/29 Playing and Drawing and Writing the Day Away

A shower after dinner and kiddoes bedtime. I just felt scummy and my back has been bad since I pulled it a week or so ago putting Ivy in her bed. Kids are bad for your health, but the shower was an outoftheroutine way to wash off the day.

Writing poetry, even bad poetry, it gives something for my watery head to do while waiting for the shower to heat up. And the more you write, the more you create, the more there is for you to write and/or create. Like how lifting weights makes you able to lift heavier weights… or do kick boxing or build tree forts or carry the moon on your back… whatever you are aiming for.

G enthralled with his first viewing of Star Wars.

G and Ivy playing together. Oh the playing. Sometimes they are sitting in the same box, sometimes they are playing some sort of fort game, sometimes they are running around the room singing, sometimes they are rolling around on the floor laughing, sometimes they are poking each other with sticks or taking toys from one another or pushing one another to the floor. Good times.

I drew in my journal today. Due to technical difficulties, I have not been doing so well with posting photos, but today I just took my camera and put the self portraits I took on the screen, and then put the paper over the screen and traced the photos onto the paper. Sure it’s not high art, but I like my ingenuity. And I’m thinking of painting the mini self portraits with watercolor, just to fool around and experiment.

Going through some blogs and sites inspired me to draw again.

Morning muffins that I made last night.

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4/28 The Day of Dreaming Adventure Kids and Purple Girls.

Making muffins when the kids went to bed. They came out of a box, but I doctored them up with my magic potions and they were quite tasty when they came out of the oven, all warm and cinnamony. I think I would like to make them from scratch. They wouldn’t be as sweet that way.

After dinner, S took the kids outside in the garden and let them play around. The bonus to this was that I got to clean up undisturbed after making dinner. (I suppose someone else could have cleaned up after I made the whole dinner, but oh well.) It does seem that even chores are a vacation, when you get to do them without toddlers hanging onto your legs, crying, “mama! mamaaaaa!”

I got to take some self portraits with my digital camera, hoping to post some new photos or change my avatars on various sites.

G watched the movie Titan AE and he loved it. Had a hard time sitting through the second half, because I think his attention span was being challenged, but he still loved it.

Putting the kids to bed, I’ve been trying various things to keep G in his bed, rather than having him climb out and fall asleep in front of the door to his room. The latest is to drape a blanket over the headboard and call it a sail, and place his “crew” of stuffed animals at the foot of the bed, and ask him where he’s going to go on his journey that night. Into space like in the movie? To meet a whale and/or mermaid? Looking for hidden treasure? I don’t know if he actually goes on those types of journeys, but he seems to enjoy thinking that he might.

Something bled in the laundry and turned many clothes purple. Luckily, it is mostly Ivy’s clothes, and she looks pretty cute in lavender. It even hides some of the stains. She is, once again, The Purple Girl.

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4/27 The Day of Movies and Kissies

G and Ivy kissing. Ivy has recently learned to pucker up her lips and kiss, and she does so for G, waiting for him to come kiss her, and he does. It’s very cute to see two little hardlymorethanbabies kissing.

The Boy charging up and down the garden path with his sippy cup of milk and his sword/stick. I think he was playing Lord of the Rings.

Getting the shopping done with my mom.

Movies with the grown ups. Have I mentioned that my uncle has a huge projector screen? It’s like going to the movie theater. It has become our nightly routine to watch something.

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4/26 The Day of the Dinnertime VICTORY!

Alone time. I don’t get to sit by myself and just be. I made sure I got to do that today. Not even kept company by tv or internet, just me and my journal. I think it helped.

S got to see a Yankee game. I think it helped him release pent up energy and put him in a better mood. His beloved “Jankees.”

I made my grandmother’s habichuelas guisadas or stewed beans, and rice, because I was telling my uncle about them, and he told me he’d had them the one time he came to NY when I was about 7. The recipe was not quite hers, because I either left it behind or stored it with my cook books. I’ll haave to talk to my mom about the recipe.

The beans were a big hit. They woke my uncle up from his nap because they smelled good, and he came down for a plate. And the smell got the boy interested while they were still on the stove. He asked me to let him see the beans, so I picked him up and let him look, and then I let him taste and he was very enthused, saying “more, more.” So I made him a plate for dinner and he had three helpings. No rice, but he ate beans! so I’m happy.

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4/26 The Morning of Taking Stock

When things are tough, and my mood is sinking into the toilet, I am able to go outside into the garden and sit there, listening to the waterfall tinkle into the pond, and the birds chirping and hooting and cawing. I can feel the sun on my face and the coolness of the dappled shade. I can watch the butterflies and the tadpoles and the lizards dart in and out of water, air, land and greenness all about. And I can breathe and get my head back on straight.

Chili dogs for lunch.

Finishing the hard sudoku.

G figured out a way to pretend to be Spiderman. He takes his blankie, and it’s various dangling strings and flings it out at you like Spidey’s webflinging. He has spent the morning trapping baby sister until she got too cranky, and then I found myself frequently wrapped up in baby blue knit spiderweb.

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4/25 Also The Day of New Friends' Barbecue

Going to a barbecue. Not having to cook tonight, or any of the dishes that come with it. Yay.

Letting the kids hang out with Grandma. G loves her and doesn’t want her to go away. Ivy is slowly getting comfortable with her. The tears and hiding period is getting shorter and shorter. Soon, soon.

More peach sangria.

G adored playing with the toy room in the hosts’ house. Not just the toys, but also the the gerbils and the fish.

Jello. Believe it or not, I’ve never given the kids jello. Just wasn’t in my repertoire. But they got some at the barbecue and they were very very happy.

Hanging out with the hosts, who are actually friends of my mom. They are closer to our age, though. My mom calls her an adopted daughter. She’s really nice. Ross is really nice. They have a little girl a year or two older than G. It’s nice to talk to someone not family.

S looking and feeling better. Something I recently noticed. I think it’s because he’s recently come off of some medicine he’s been taking. I don’t know if he’s noticed, because of all the changes and the stress we’re still struggling with, but soon, maybe.

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4/25 The Day of Many Media and Peanut Butter and Jelly

G thought I had an ant on my sunglasses (he has a thing about ants) and I told him, no, there was no ant, but I looked like an ant when I wore them. And then I held my fingers up to my head and wiggled them about like antennae, and made little ant noises and tapped him with my wiggling antennae, and all of a sudden, everyone was an ant… creating finger/feelers with varying levels of success according to age and agility. Ivy, G, Mama, Papa. Everyone was an ant.

This is yesterday, but we got to see two hours of good, new sitcoms. Funny. And then, a new Lost. Been a long time and I miss real tv. What a terrible year for tv.

Reading a book before bed. I left my whole library in Brooklyn, but I borrowed a fantasy book from my mom, and I get to read a few minutes before I pass out. This is a big improvement in my ability to read for the past few months/years. A new, unfamiliar book? In no time at all, I’ll be back to reading the Pulitzer Prize winners.

A call from my mom midday, reminding me that we were invited to a barbecue. I don’t have to make dinner! Woohoo!

Watching Return of the King before nap. So inappropriate, but the boy loves it. The girl doesn’t even pay attention.

The happiness that peanut butter and jelly brings. So easy to make smiles.

Signed up for another blog website. I had some technical difficulties, but what else is new? It’s good to step into the global world, climbing out of my shadows. I have been working on expanding the reach of my blog, and I think it’s something that needs to be worked on quite often. But it feels like I am making small inroads.

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4/24 The Day of Art and Life, Life and Art

While the kids played in the garden, this morning, I took out my journal and my art kit that I have started carrying around in my bag, and drew a picture. I drew the kids at play in the garden. I figured it was good to integrate life and art, art and life.

Checking many nice blogs today while kids were napping. Commented upon some. I’ve noticed that I have gotten about three comments on my own blog in the past week, only one of which is from someone I know. I attribute this upswing not only to my own activity on my blog, but being more social, making friends on facebook, putting a signature on my email with a url, telling people about my blog, and making comments on other bloggers posts. It all adds up. Must keep it up.

Finding old friends on facebook. One of my favorite students, a friend from college and an ex-boyfriend who was always better as a friend than as a mate for me. Both guys are married, and I am very happy for them, and the student is living it up, and I am very happy for her.

My step father called and he’s about to come over to take me on a circuit of the town so I can drop my resume at various restaurants. That other restaurant never called back, so I am moving on. Life is about moving on, sisters and brothers. Being open to the possibilities.

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