6/7 The Day of Domesticity and a Butterfly

Bedtime hugs and kisses, climbing into G’s bed w both of them and reading stories, then bedtime, bedtime. Put them down, kiss, “I love you” and then close the door. Shhh. No sounds. Tip toe down stairs. Shhh.

I got myself a new coffee mug. Oh, my indulgences. 4.50. It’s so cute. Nothing fancy, just green glazed pottery with some graphic lines. Good size. Good heft. I can’t wait to have my coffee in it tomorrow. I have missed a good mug.

A grocery trip that I thought was going to cost everything I had in my wallet because I got a few indulgences (mug, toy cars for the kids, pepperoni, sherry… nothing big) but I must have been very budget minded about the things that actually were on my list, because I was only 25$ over my real budget.

A butterfly that flew by my head when I was outside trying to get good reception for my cel phone.

The kids woke up to the sprinkler going in the back yard. Oh how they wanted to play in it. And I let them, even though I had just cleaned and dressed everyone. They had so much fun. And when they were done, they had droplets of water in their hair, glistening like crystal, and big smile on their faces.

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I watched The Rocky Horror Picture Show with my uncle last night. With his projection screen, I thought I should have the watergun, umbrella, popcorn, noisemakers, toilet paper, etc that go along with the experience. Instead, we just had spaghetti and red wine and watched the thing. I think I must have been drunk or something the other times I’ve seen it, because I hardly remembered the movie at all. Or maybe it was because I’ve never actually just sat and watched it. It might just be the bestest bad movie ever.

G discovered The X Men, and boy did he love it. He loves the super powers, although I think that he thinks all super power guys are bad guys. I was trying to help him understand that there were also super heroes, who were good guys who took care of people. Maybe I shouldn’t be showing my three year old movies like X Men and Star Wars and Lord of the Rings, but he kind of accidentally stumbled onto the genre… and all of those movies were movies that I avoided showing him because I thought they were too mature, until somehow he found them and was enraptured. Give him a choice between Lady and the Tramp and Lord of the Rings, and he’ll go for the “bad guys” every time.

Not having to go to work yesterday. I had one of the other waitresses take my shift because I was having minor panic attacks about leaving the kids and all the coordinating and really not making much anyway. It was so much easier to take care of the kids by myself when I wasn’t worrying about getting ready to go to work and hauling the kids with me and wondering how my Step Father was going to manage. We just took it easy at home, and it helped.

Left over fish and chips for lunch. An unexpected (I didn’t know it was in the fridge) and hearty meal.

Oh, Ivy has finally discovered strawberries. She always spit them out before, I think they were too tart. But she has just decided she liked them.

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6/5 Me at Work

6/4 The Day Papa Left But We Managed a Good Day, Anyway

So You Think You Can Dance was on tonight and I got to see the auditions… WITH brownie batter on spoon.

Our first night without Papa, and I managed dinner, bathtime, changing time, milk time, story time and bedtime with no problems. It’s been a while since I’ve done bedtime by myself. It’s almost a little easier with out two grown ups. Well, making dinner sucked, but once everyone got fed, it was easier.

I made the kids soup with chicken and greenbeans. Ivy only ate the noodles, but G ate the chicken and the greenbeans and was very happy.

They had chocolate pudding for dessert, and let’s just say it was well received (up to the eyebrows.) They’ve never had chocolate pudding before.

Before Papa left, he took the kids for a ride on their new tricycle, even though it is still too big.

And we had a water fight with their new waterguns. Squirt squirt.

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We went out with the grands to have dinner at Bif Burger, a good ole burger joint.

There was a guy playing guitar, and the kids got up and started dancing. They went over to the dance floor and danced up a storm. Danced together, danced with grandma and grandpa, danced with mama and papa, just danced.

G also got to play the tambourine for a song. He didn’t quite get the beat or the way the thing worked, or that he was supposed to play the whole song, but he wanted to walk off with it. He also got his first taste of rock stardom and somehow, I have the feeling, not the last.

I got a comment today on my blog from another blogger I really respect, one who I turn to for inspiration and wisdom. And she said I inspired her. :)

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6/2 The Day of Not Having Words of My Own

“You are the music while the music lasts.”
T.S. Eliot

“Yes is a world
& in this world of
yes live
(skilfully curled)
all world.”
e.e. cummings

“Mama!”
G The Monkey Man

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6/1 The Day of The Radio Flyer Tricycle and Wings

Bedtime stories, both kids in G’s bed with me, mostly cuddling, only a little squirming, and Papa reading stories to them.

Playing monster with G. I would growl and roll toward him on the office chair and he would scream and laugh and run away, saying “scared!”

Brought home some chicken wings for a fun dinner. Ordered mild, but got some hot sauce for the grown ups to dippity dip.

My mom picked me up from work and we went to stop at my other Uncle’s house. He lives in Georgia or someplace now, but is renting out his house and he came down when the renters left. I missed seeing him, but apparently the renters left some things. So we stopped by the house, looked at the porch and there were some things there, a whole bag of wipes and a cute broom with bug eyes, and…

A RADIO FLYER TRICYCLE!!!! Much happiness ensued when we walked in the door with a tricycle. It’s still a little too big for them, but G is ready to try. My mom says some blocks on the pedals and it will be just fine.

At work, it got busy very early… uncharacteristically, before opening, even. I didn’t even look at the clock until 2 o’clock. Busy makes me happy, even if I’m not really making all that much money, I like to be busy when waiting tables. It’s actually fun. Unless they all ask for their check at the same time, which they did. That is a little stressful.

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5/31 The Day of Girl Things

Went out with my future sister in law, one of her bridesmaids, and my mom to her bridal gown fitting. It was very nice. Girl things. Not mom things.

We also had lunch, and I had a HUGE margarita. Heehee.

I went to the bookstore and got a new journal. It’s the little things, really. And the margaritas.

The kids were happy to see me after I was out doing girl things.

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5/29 The Day of I Don't Remember Much Before Work

Stopping after work at a pub with S. We had beer and jalapeno poppers which were yummy (even though I had an allergic reaction, probably to they type of oil they used to fry them.)

My boss sent me home, even though there were a dozen people hanging out with empty beer glasses an hour after closing. They were jamming on guitars with the woman who sang that night.

It was nice to have someone singing while I was working, and she was decent.

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5/28 The Day of Decisions and Children Who Keep On Going No Matter What

Watching a special Wednesday version of So You Think You Can Dance. I just wish they wouldn’t waste our time on all the bad dancers when there are so many good ones to see.

Irrepressible G. Laughing. Running. Licking. Swordfighting. Milk Drinking. Yelling. Chasing. Dancing. Singing.

Good natured Ivy. She does whatever G does. Strutting around, exploring, enjoying, kissing, playing.

S and I had a difficult decision to make, one that had been weighing on my mind. It became clear to me that we should not go in that direction and once it was, I made it clear to him that this should not happen, and he agreed. I think it will be better in the long run, although S is frustrated, now. It was a big relief for me to make my own decision, and then to tell him about it.

I wrote again today, after missing yesterday. I’m three days behind, but it felt good to write. Also to edit. I liked slimming some paragraphs down, getting rid of the chaff.

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5/27 The Day of There's No Such Thing as a Day Off, Mom

Ivy’s purple pants.

Ivy ran off into the other room, and I was trying to get her to come back to play with us, and I started singing a little “Come Back Ivy” song to the tune of “Goodnight Ladies.” G came running out and started dancing around for her, trying to get her to come back. He was marching around the room, so I started marching too, marching and singing, and we marched and sang so she would follow us and then we were all marching and singing and we got back to the living room and we spun around and laughed.

I found a nice juicy key lime that fell off the tree. Now all I need is some tequila.

Some ideas for improving my blog. My personal blog and the group blog I joined. I came up with a list of titles for the group blog. Things like, “If Mama Ain’t Happy, Ain’t Nobody Happy,” and “I Feel Pretty,” and “The Passion of the Mom.” I think I’m going to try to be a little lighter in the group blog. The place for the woman in the mommying. My personal blog is more about the place for the artist. I’m sure there will be some crossover, but maybe having two separate focuses it will help me have more to write about. The site is actually called domesticglamor.com and I had to think a little bit about what that means, domestic glamor.

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5/27 Memorial Day

It was actually busy (sort of) at work, and I got to be productive and do my job and even make a little money.

Oh, and it’s not noble, but I was right when I told my boss that I wouldn’t need to be at work TWO HOURS EARLY. I finished set up somewhere between a half and hour and 45 minutes after getting there. I didn’t gloat, of course, I simply brought it up to the manager, and she totally agreed and got him to change when we have to come in for morning shifts.

S picked me up with the kids. It was nice to have him drive up and have them all meet me. Kids are always happy to see you.

After work we went to my moms house for some kiddie pool action, sangria and burgers. My brother and sister in law to be showed up for apple pie and we got to hang out a bit.

G saw the Crocodile Hunter on tv and spent some time in his deathroll on the floor, pretending to be a croc. It also got him to eat his dinner.

Got home, put the kids to bed and did not collapse in exhaustion, since I had been on the go from 9 am until 10pm. I brought my laptop to bed and did some rewriting. I don’t even know how much I did because I was too tired to log it in my book, but I do know it was more than I was expecting to do. And my notes from my first reading helped me in my rewrite.

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Sat with Uncle and S drinking wine and talking. One of the topics we talked about was 9/11. S and I were both there. Not “there” there, but close. We could see the towers. We both saw or heard the second plane flying. We both were there for the aftermath. We didn’t know each other then, but it is an experience that bonds people. Yesterday, we told Uncle some of our experiences. They aren’t happy memories, but it was a good thing to remember it all and share it.

After work, S and the kids picked me up and we went to a pub and had wings, and I had a couple of beers. We talked to some people with babies and kids. The kids ran around in the playground. They met a baby named Molly, and liked her so much that Ivy named her dolly Molly.

At work there was a little rush, and I proved myself good at what I do. Waiting tables is not a fancy career, but it takes skill and intelligence to do well. I can do it well. And the boss was there to see it.

Oh, and I almost forgot. I was accepted as a writer for a website. I will be writing for glamormom. I think it is glamormom.com but I’m not a hundred percent sure on the URL. It’s where being a woman and being a mom intersect. It is Womom. (Which actually to me sounds like the way the Ferenghi on Star Trek The Next Generation would say “Wo-man.” Which makes me laugh whenever I read that little blurb.) I won’t start making money right away, but hopefully I will as my readership picks up and they start putting ads on my stuff. I haven’t gotten all the information yet, so I’m not quite sure how it all works… but it’s still exciting. And it’s another step in being a professional writer. I will be very excited when I get my first check, even if it’s only for fifteen cents, because that will make me a professional. With very low rates. :)

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5/22 The Day of Working and Dancing

I worked last night and this morning, so my mom dvrd So You Think You Can Dance and we all went over there after I got out of work and watched it, hung out, drank margaritas (well the grown ups) and played (the kids)

Ivy is getting much more comfortable with Grandma and Grandpa. More independent. She likes to play and run around and ask for cookies.

G enjoyed the dancing, too. So did Ivy. When they heard a song or saw a dancer they liked, they would dance, too. G at least liked to try and copy what the dancer did.

It is nice to get out of the house and work, to be out among adults and talk about things not baby related. It’s nice to feel the warm breeze and drink some ice tea, and do what needs to be done, even if I’m not making a whole lot of cash.

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5/22 The Day of Work at Work and Work at Home, Just Whistle While You Work

Getting off work. That made me happy. It wasn’t bad, just when you’re working and on your feet, it’s nice to stop.

My last customer was the Cookie Man, the guy famous for bringing, you guessed it, cookies to the staff at the Sunset Grill. I had oatmeal and cranberry cookies. Yum

Singing as I work. I always used to do that. I like it.

Spending some time with just Ivy, while G kept napping. When you’ve got a loud big brother it’s always about divided attention.

I got some writing done before work,almost five pages of rewriting, some new, some old. Even when it’s hard to get started and the writing isn’t inspired, it still feels good to have done it, to have conquered my demons.

Ivy almost falling asleep in my arms before nap. She’s so cute. She lays back and her eyes start blinking very slow and her mouth pouts and she says, “mama, mama.”

Jack Jack Attack… the added material to The Incredibles. G really liked it. And then he liked Dash, too. When he saw the whole show, and Dash was running super speed, it inspired him to run run run fast around the room.

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5/21 The Day of The World's First Rosymamacita Roast Chicken, Some Critters, and Doing, Not Just Talking

G caught a lizard today! He was looking at it sitting on the bromeliad, pointed it out to me and then all of a sudden, his hand darts out and BOOM! He’s holding it. It surprised him so much that he dropped it and it raced off into the bushes. I think it scared him a little, but it also made him even more interested in lizards. S and Uncle were both proud of him, too, and amazed that he was fast enough and coordinated enough to catch a lizard.

G also found a little baby frog. I thought he was exclaiming about some ants or a plant, but he kept saying no and and pointing until I came over and looked, and there it was, about the size of a dime and gray green. Jump! Jump! I don’t think it could get back into the pond. Then Papa came and picked it up and put it back, talking to G about being gentle with them. G was then very much more interested in frogs, walking around saying “frog, frog.”

Oh, then there was the time that he was watching the unripe mangoes hanging from the tree, pretending that he was going to get them, and looking for my reaction, but really he wasn’t.

And he and Ivy baked a “cake” of dirt.

G had many garden moments today, but Mama had a big one, too. I finally roasted a whole chicken for the first time in my life. And it came out DELICIOUS! I mixed and matched some Martha recipes and some Allrecipes.com recipes and made some potatoes to go with it and boiled some ears of corn. Next time, I’ll make more, because there are no leftovers.

The kitchen was so hot that we decided to eat in the garden. That was nice. Cool, with lizards and frogs and avocado trees. The kids cleaned their plates and then tried to clear ours. The adults had beer or wine. Then the kids went off to play some more and the adults sat and chatted. Yay mamacita.

Oh, and I just applied for a blogging post at a group blog that might pay if I get enough clicks or whatever. It’s a start. It’s actually the first freelance thing I’ve ever applied to, well, for pay. And I joined some other groups and newsletters to get links to jobs. Basically, I took the first steps towards actually being a freelancer, rather than just talking/writing about maybe doing it.

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5/21 The Day of Pizza and Cutoffs

Uncle ordered pizza when he got home, which was good, because due to a grocery shopping mishap, the kids had all the leftovers and the grown ups were too tired to cook once they had gone to bed.

Cut off jeans! Haven’t worn them in years, but I just chopped off the legs of my least favorite pair of jeans and am quite pleased.

Reading books to the kids at bedtime, we all lay in G’s little bed and enjoyed the Alphabet book. G enjoyed acting out the various actions that the animals were doing.

More rain. Short lived rainstorms. And we saw some egrets across the street, splashing in the puddles.

I found an old favorite website, that I probably should have left alone. Bad habit. Time waste. Spent too long on it today.

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5/19 The Day of Making No Money, but Money Comes and It Goes, So I May As Well Be Happy

Getting out of work early and stopping by the pub on the way home with S. Having a beer and chatting. Don’t think we’ve done that without kids in three years.

Dead slow day at work today. This is the painful business of working at a restaurant that has just opened… even if the place has been in business for forty years. But the good part about this is that when it was so empty customers must have thought it was closed, I took my southern Iced Tea and sat at one of the tables outside, and chatted with my colleague, pretending to be eating there. And the weather was nice, and the breeze was fresh and the jasmine still smelled sweet. It wasn’t that bad a place to hang out. Even if I should have been making money.

I wrote, yes I did. Forced it, but it worked. And the words came back, out of the confusion. I should have more faith that the words almost always come back, once I try, honestly try.

I had an idea for keeping track of the thoughts, experiences, creative impulses and maybe even sketches that occur while I am at work. I am thinking of calling them the “Sunset Chronicles,” or the “Restaurant Pages” or something like that. I used to write poems on my dupe checks. I used to paint mini landscapes when it was slow at work. I used to plan novels while watching my tables. I think that might be fun to continue it, probably online.

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5/18 The Lazy Sunday

Lazy day with nothing scheduled to do. Had some coffee and did the crossword, and did better than I normally do.

G is getting better everyday at speaking. He was a little slow with expressive language, but it doesn’t seem to be a problem any more.

A quick rainstorm. I love a rainstorm. It cooled everything off nicely, and the plants were happy.

Uncle worked on the garden yesterday, moving the yucca that had been sitting in front of the pond and getting in the way of the path. He also cut back some of the ferns and other greenery and then did other stuff that is kind of over my head/black thumb. The whole garden looks more open and welcoming now.

Talking with uncle about art and writing and animation and computers and life paths and the business of being an artist.

Getting an hour of writing on my second draft done today, even though it was a lazy day and I didn’t work in the afternoon during nap time. I stuck to my guns and kept up with my self challenge… even if it was a little slower because I am confused about what I want to show in this scene. I’m seeing the process come together. Every draft is another layer.

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5/16 The Day of A Room of Mama's Own

Reading a book about Counting Kisses to the little guys, and giving, receiving and witnessing many multiples of kisses. Toes, eyes, noses, belly buttons… just flurries of kisses. Many giggles, too.

The kiddie pool. We went all the way and filled it up and let them play. It’s a lot of work to get it ready and clean it up. Next time we’ll start it in the morning and let the play continue all day, instead of it being an afternoon thing. And maybe it will be a little warmer out to avoid the blue lips and shivers and cries of “nooo!” when we try to get the frigid little boy out.

Writing when I said I was going to. And kind of liking what I was writing. Five pages. My story is not dead, it is living on. I will finish this sucker yet.

Setting up my little corner on the enclosed porch where I can shut the doors and keep my laptop and write in peace.

Making the commitment to writing again. I know what needs to be done, I just have to do it.

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