Friday, June 20, 2008

6/19 The Day of Mummies and the Singing Dead

Made it through the torture that was the singer who was auditioning at the Sunset Grill tonight. It was so bad it was funny. My eyes were crossing. It put me in a strange mood.

Seeing the kids when my mom and step dad came to pick me up. They were sitting in the back smiling to see me.

G discovered mummies tonight. He saw a Reading Rainbow episode about Egyptian mummies, and just absorbed it in. Where do these interests come from? It wasn’t the monster thing, it was the archeology thing, I think. The science thing. This is an exciting development.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

6/18 PS I Forgot

I deleted half of the second draft of my novel. Half. And I know it was the right thing to do because it felt good and it fueled my inspiration. Now I can make sense of the structure.

6/18 The Day of Thoughts on My Work and Moments with My Kids

Writing in my journal last night before bed, and having the epiphany that everything I have been working on in my life for the last twenty years is starting to come to fruition, and part of it is because of the struggle and the questions and the detours and the tiny tiny babysteps that never seem to get me anywhere. It is happening, and it is not luck, it is persistence and hard work and passion and practice and doing things for the love of it all.

Popsicles in the garden with G and Ivy. Half naked kids, running around dripping frozen neon sugar water. I took pictures. Oh, they loved it.

I made chicken and it was tasty. And G devoured the greenbeans I made with it. Green beans, I said. Vegetables! Jump on it. Encourage it. The key is to use frozen green beans, actually, and sautee them with butter and salt and pepper. The fresh green beans are too tough for him to eat. Vegetable and convenience, both.

More compliments on line. Great compliments from people who know what they are talking about. I am quite breathless at it all.

Enjoying my day of mommying without having to go to work. Paying attention to the moments where they are laughing and playing, loving being with mommy and having her attention. Taking the time out of tasks to give them that time. Finding a possibly imperfect balance between doing my work and being mom, and being okay with the imperfection, and trusting in my kids to be able to grow and flourish without my perfection.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

6/17 The Day of the Flowered Skirt and Peaches and Bloggety Blogosphere

Playing with Ivy and the magic crayola finger paints. She just wants to dig in the paint goo, but together, we painted something that I actually like. I made circles, and she had fun with the rest.

The kids’ first(ish) encounter with peaches. Mmmlmmmlmmm (that’s how Ivy says yum. She sticks her tongue out and in, half way between licking her lips and saying mmm.)

Dressing up a little just because I felt like it. All that means is I put on a yellow cotton skirt printed with tiny red flowers adn an orange tank top with lace edging. Not so far off from my normal shorts and tank outfit.

I am getting more and more compliments on my writing. It is both amazing and gratifying. They aren’t even the regular compliments like, “you write good” ;) they are very precise compliments, like “your writing is stark and alive.” Wowzers. It is? Cool. I need to see some of this writing he’s talking about.

I am starting to gain momentum with my blog. It’s weird. People I don’t know are reading me and they are entering into the discussion. That’s the best part. The discussion. I enjoy looking at blogs as a conversation. It is so much more personal than a magazine or a newspaper or the tv. It is so interactive, almost, you might imagine, the way ideas were passed on in the eons before we came up with the printing press and mass media. But of course, this time, you aren’t face to face, and you can have access to so many more people. We live in a remarkable world, don’t you think?

Monday, June 16, 2008

6/15 The Day of Grocery Shopping is Fun

Blueberries. Back in season. I should have gotten two pints, upon reflection.

Connecting with old friends and starting a new project… hopefully it takes off rather than fizzling.

Buying small treats for myself at the grocery store, because the whole reason that S went back to NY to work was so that we wouldn’t be so strapped and could put away some savings. So why can’t I get that magazine????

Steak for dinner. Trying to eat better. I think I really needed the iron.

Mom coming by. The kids were so happy to see her. Especially G. When we went to the grocery store, My mom took G in her cart and I took I in mine, and we would sometimes surprise run into each other.