G was mugging for the camera, making funny faces.
G drew with a pencil. He enjoyed it. He did still lifes while I sketched in my journal.
Summer summer fruits it wouldn’t be summer without them.
Made some money working by myself.
Got some dvds for G’s birthday. Looking forward to giving him some favorites. Little Bear and Jimmy Neutron.
Uncle made spaghetti and I had some. Hit the spot.
Managed to post on my blog by cutting and pasting and mouse clicking, even though I had no keyboard.
Finding out I wouldn’t ever have to work again with a particular person at work who drove me (and everyone else) batty.
Fixed my hair during another session with my scissors. Maybe a little more tweaking still needs to be done.
A good sandwich (grilled chicken, swiss, bacon and ranch dressing.)
Customer brought in a harlequin macaw (not a scarlet, not a hyacinth). Cool bird. Pretty. Very old. Almost as old as the guy.
When the insane rush of customers finally receded and I got to close out and go home. (it wasn’t always busy, just had a crazy rush for an hour or so.)
Hearing my mom’s stories about the fun G and Ivy had playing today. Bath time. eating lots of chicken. Riding the horseys at the playground. Chasing bugs in the grass. Falling asleep in the carseat.
Writing over a thousand words today despite the funk.
Saved a baby lizard that was lost in the sink.
G remembered the “this little piggie” song and was trying to do it with Ivy’s toes. Even though I hadn’t done it in years. They remember such strange things from so long ago.
Wrote over 2000 words in my novel. I hit the ‘glow” I felt it starting to make sense. glad I deleted half of what I’d written. I may have to delete another 50 pages. Is it possible that I have written almost 150,000 only to get to the beginning? People sometimes look down on nanowrimo for the speed with which you tackle a novel, but I don’t think it makes much difference when you’re writing your way into a story. It just depends on how much you let your internal editor get control of you, and when your delete button finger starts to get itchy. For me, it seems to be 150,000 words in.
Doing little piggies and singing the Itsy Bitsy Spider with the kids. Then I started singing more songs. I always forget how much singing makes me happy until I start to sing.
Peanut butter cups in my icecream.
SYTYCD especially the opening number.
Sesame Street. G is fascinated with Elmo’s Alphabet Race Game. Both G and Ivy are dancing to the Vegetable Song. It is interactive play today.
Blueberries and hotdogs for lunch.
Fixing my camera. It wasn’t really broken but the screws had come out and it was only a matter of time. Had a found pair of sunglasses that I scavenged for tiny screws. It worked!
When my uncle’s computer came back on after I spilled coffee on a corner of the keyboard. It’s not TOTALLY ruined.
When I got the ‘delete’ key back on after trying to take it off and clean it out. These things are hell to reattach.
Talking to G about big boys who use the potty. It’s hard to learn all the stuff like going down stairs or using a spoon without spilling. but he gets to do all sorts of fun stuff like turn 3 and I told him about his birthday and asked him what he wants to do and he said chocolate cake, icecream, blueberries, monsters and dinosaurs, balloons, running and dancing. That’s what he wants. I can do that.
G peed in the potty. At first, he peed around the potty and only accidentally got some in, but he received huzzahs and applause and his own song and much dancing and a piece of chocolate. Then, he peed in the potty again, this time in purpose. Repeat rejoicing.
Cuddle play with Ivy
Ivy amazes me with her verbal ability. Her vocabulary is tremendous, even beginning to say sentences and she’s not even 16 months.
The kids are so big now, even Ivy is not a baby anymore.
Left G and I looking out of the window, waiting for the cardinal to come back to the tree, watching the rain fall.
G is learning to count. He has one, two, three and sometimes four and five. He has all the colors. His language is rapidly developing, despite how long it has taken. He is learning to say the J and the TH and the L, although D and T are still hard.
The word “tool.” It’s a good word. And I mean, as in “he’s a tool,” not the handy type. It’s funny.
Stella Artois. Just because.
Helping people. I like that people can be inspired by things I say and go on to live a better life.
Having brainstorms and finding the perfect thing to write in the moment.
The kids helping me with putting the laundry in the washing machine.
Sausage, corn, french fries for dinner. Cherries for dessert.
The kids got lollipops. They don’t get them often, in fact, Ivy looked at hers like it was a suspicious creature on the end of a stick. But then she took a lick. I believe the response was mmlmmlmmlmm, the thing she licks her lips and says mmm at the same time. And then there was sticky lollipop everywhere.
Got out of work early and got to my moms house while the kids were ‘napping’ meaning Ivy was asleep on the couch and G was in his room wide awake and playing silently. I had an afternoon beer and flipped through a magazine.
Went to get big boy underwear for G… we are going to try potty training this week. Yikes! But he chose his briefs. A set of Transformers, and because I figured I’d need more than three… a set of Spiderman and his friends. No Diego. I was surprised.
At work, I found a strange fungi on a tree trunk and took so me surprising pictures.
Coffee. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again. Coffee.
The gust of wind when we got out of the house with the kids. G stood there, and shook his long, luxurious red curls in the strong breeze, smiling wildly. Then he pretended that the wind was blowing him away. “woah, woah, woah!”
Beautiful rain this morning. Soft and gentle, but heavy. G and I watched it out the window. “Yay, yay,” he said. “Rain.”
Ivy, so serious when I told her to get a toy to go to grandma’s and grandpas. She looked at me, nodded, and then strutted off around the corner into the play room to look for a toy. She picked two soft rings, exactly like the two rings that G had.
Discovering that the soft rings from the caterpillar toy could be a great tossing toy. G has a need to throw things, and as balls tend to wander off, he throws things like shoes and giant robots. no. no. So giving him the soft rings allowed him to express his throwing without hurting people or delicate objects.
Went to work. Still raining. Dead slow. Rain not good for an outdoor restaurant. So I decided to take some photos. Perhaps I will post them later. Photos all around the Sunset. Some self portraits. Some abstracts. Some straight shots of the restaurant. It was a little fun, I don’t do much photographing besides taking pictures of the kids, of which I have taken thousands.
Got out of work early, since there were too many waitresses, too few tables available with the rain and all, and too few people to fill those seats. I went to the back bar and hung out with the manager who was working and had a couple of beers, all of which were bought by the guys sitting there. Yes, they were old guys being friendly to the waitress, but there were also other guys giving me the eye. I wasn’t receptive, just friendly, but I still have a little of the some’in, some’in.
Mom picked me up, and we brought the kids home and put them to bed and sat and talked with Uncle, which was fun.
MORE readers for my blog. I am always surprised when I am called funny, because I don’t really think of myself as funny, although I do enjoy looking at things with humor. I guess I think of myself as way too serious for my own good, but maybe I have my moments. That’s good. I’ve spent too many years way too serious.
Made it through the torture that was the singer who was auditioning at the Sunset Grill tonight. It was so bad it was funny. My eyes were crossing. It put me in a strange mood.
Seeing the kids when my mom and step dad came to pick me up. They were sitting in the back smiling to see me.
G discovered mummies tonight. He saw a Reading Rainbow episode about Egyptian mummies, and just absorbed it in. Where do these interests come from? It wasn’t the monster thing, it was the archeology thing, I think. The science thing. This is an exciting development.
I deleted half of the second draft of my novel. Half. And I know it was the right thing to do because it felt good and it fueled my inspiration. Now I can make sense of the structure.
Writing in my journal last night before bed, and having the epiphany that everything I have been working on in my life for the last twenty years is starting to come to fruition, and part of it is because of the struggle and the questions and the detours and the tiny tiny babysteps that never seem to get me anywhere. It is happening, and it is not luck, it is persistence and hard work and passion and practice and doing things for the love of it all.
Popsicles in the garden with G and Ivy. Half naked kids, running around dripping frozen neon sugar water. I took pictures. Oh, they loved it.
I made chicken and it was tasty. And G devoured the greenbeans I made with it. Green beans, I said. Vegetables! Jump on it. Encourage it. The key is to use frozen green beans, actually, and sautee them with butter and salt and pepper. The fresh green beans are too tough for him to eat. Vegetable and convenience, both.
More compliments on line. Great compliments from people who know what they are talking about. I am quite breathless at it all.
Enjoying my day of mommying without having to go to work. Paying attention to the moments where they are laughing and playing, loving being with mommy and having her attention. Taking the time out of tasks to give them that time. Finding a possibly imperfect balance between doing my work and being mom, and being okay with the imperfection, and trusting in my kids to be able to grow and flourish without my perfection.
Playing with Ivy and the magic crayola finger paints. She just wants to dig in the paint goo, but together, we painted something that I actually like. I made circles, and she had fun with the rest.
The kids’ first(ish) encounter with peaches. Mmmlmmmlmmm (that’s how Ivy says yum. She sticks her tongue out and in, half way between licking her lips and saying mmm.)
Dressing up a little just because I felt like it. All that means is I put on a yellow cotton skirt printed with tiny red flowers adn an orange tank top with lace edging. Not so far off from my normal shorts and tank outfit.
I am getting more and more compliments on my writing. It is both amazing and gratifying. They aren’t even the regular compliments like, “you write good” ;) they are very precise compliments, like “your writing is stark and alive.” Wowzers. It is? Cool. I need to see some of this writing he’s talking about.
I am starting to gain momentum with my blog. It’s weird. People I don’t know are reading me and they are entering into the discussion. That’s the best part. The discussion. I enjoy looking at blogs as a conversation. It is so much more personal than a magazine or a newspaper or the tv. It is so interactive, almost, you might imagine, the way ideas were passed on in the eons before we came up with the printing press and mass media. But of course, this time, you aren’t face to face, and you can have access to so many more people. We live in a remarkable world, don’t you think?
Blueberries. Back in season. I should have gotten two pints, upon reflection.
Connecting with old friends and starting a new project… hopefully it takes off rather than fizzling.
Buying small treats for myself at the grocery store, because the whole reason that S went back to NY to work was so that we wouldn’t be so strapped and could put away some savings. So why can’t I get that magazine????
Steak for dinner. Trying to eat better. I think I really needed the iron.
Mom coming by. The kids were so happy to see her. Especially G. When we went to the grocery store, My mom took G in her cart and I took I in mine, and we would sometimes surprise run into each other.
Had nice onion rings after work. With tiger sauce, which is a kind of spicy horseradish sauce.
Walking to the car after work, the night was falling, there was a cool breeze from the storm that did not develop, the singer was playing a riff on her acoustic guitar, work was done for the day.
I went out to check on the developing storm. The cloud was tall and high. Lightning flashed inside of it. I could smell ozone.
Someone at work saw my little painting in my journal with the girl aloft over the city, hanging onto a red baloon, and said, “wow, I could see that as a post card.” I thought that was really nice. I would like to sell prints and postcards. Maybe my flying girl would like to fly as a post card.
Talked a little to another coworker about art. She saw my little painting and asked me what medium I’d used. She was an artist too. I don’t often get to talk about art down into the technical stuff. Well not anymore.
During nap, I sketched out a surprising picture of a teddy bear made of the blue sky (and nothing but) except her outline went out past behind her emptyheadedness. She seemed a little angry. I kind of like the idea of an angry teddy bear. Bears are fierce, who are we to make bears into baby toys?
Holding my arms out to Ivy and having her come running into them, practically crashing into me, to get a hug. :)
Talking to my uncle and finding out that my grandfather’s relationship with his girlfriend (after my grandmother had died) was actually a continuation of a relationship, and she had been his High School sweetheart in Pittsburg. That was pretty cool.
Getting to the Tarjay and finding some things I needed along with a Go, Diego, Go dvd that the kids were SOOOOOO excited about. I got a book, literature, even, that has gotten good reviews. I am attempting to move from mindless fiction to “good” fiction to see if my brain has recuperated from having babies.
The woosh anticipation of a storm rolling in. We made it to the car before it really started. Thunder crashed, lightning flashed, we were safe in the car, very exciting. But the impending storm never really materialized.
Had some steamed shrimp with G at bedtime way past bedtime when Grandma and Grandpa came to pick me up from work with the kids in tow. I finished him off with an oreo and he finally decided he could sleep.That’s what happens when grandma serves favorites like beans and roast pork all mixed together with yucky rice. Little boy gets hungry hungry and can’t go to sleep and needs to eat all mama’s post work dinner.
Busy at work. Busy enough anyway. I was the only waitress on, and while it was a little lonely without another woman to chat with, it seems to be the only way to make some decent cash.
The cool breezy weather. No storms, just clouds. Palm trees waving in the breeze.
The kids all excited to go in the car to grandma’s house and play with all the toys.
Ivy with the remnants of an oreo. Everywhere. Face. Hands. Neck Folds. Dress. Knees. Head to toe, covered in cookie mush. Oh, and the huge, huge grin.
A great compliment from ruthg. She called my writing voice “both wry/clever & tender.” Thanks again ruthg.
I’m watching So You Think You Can Dance right now. I’m writing this during the commercial break. So it could take a good long while to finish up.
Pancake and eggs for dinner. I didn’t get enough sleep last night, so knew my temper was kind of fragile, I went low maintenance, high approval rating.
The kids had their milk out in the garden, running around and getting dirty.
During nap I got a chance to paint. Just a little. It helps.
I also went through my portfolio to see what I had with me. I had a lot of favorites. I really need to get back into painting. I need to take my small things further. I want to take it seriously.
SHE IS THE ONE TEACHER I WILL FOREVER REMEMBER FOR INSPIRING ME TO LOOK BEYOND THE SURFACE OF THINGS AND PUSHING ME TO DO BETTER.SHE TRULY SUPPORTED MY DREAMS I WILL ALWAYS HAVE FOND MEMORIES OF HER.
Bedtime. Kisses and hugs and laying in the same bed in a squiggly, wiggly pile.
Dinner time. Actually putting the food on the table in front of them, because that meant the screaming and crying and trying of my patience ended and my blood pressure went down, and the twitching in my eye stopped. I hate the hour before dinner.
Got some writing done despite the excuses and blahdeblah. I was running out of time before naps ended, and I didn’t give up, I gave it a try, and got a few pages in.
The kids deciding to take up sweeping and mopping. G had the mop and Ivy had the broom, all because a glass of water spilled and they wanted to clean up the mess. twiddling thumbs Hmm. Can I capitalize on this and teach them to be my house cleaners?
Perusing my blog and other writings I felt good, because I think I have something. I just need to figure out how to get that “something” out there into the wider zeitgeist. I need to find my hundred monkeys.
I started to paint some pages in my journal. I only got as far as one spread, because the paint was wet. So I thought I’d try to dry it off somehow, and closed the page and rubbed it together a little, and when I opened it up, it looked like a moth. Cool. I wonder what I will write/draw on that page. I think it would look good with a sort of metallic goldish hue, because the paint was a pale lavender gray.
My mom dropped by unexpectedly to have her lunch. She was in the neighborhood, so she popped in.
Lunch: hotdogs and berries and a little brownie.
Lots of relaxing time at work. I had a cup of soup and some iced tea and did the crossword read the free paper and wrote a poem and stared out at the driving rain. All would have been great if I the purpose of work was not to make money.
Getting picked up with the kids… they were very happy to see me, but also had lots of fun at the grandparents’s.
I cut out some paper dolls from the Mary Englebreit’s Home Companion magazine. I was looking through it for interesting patterns that I could collage my journal with when I found the paper dolls. I like that magazine for the artsiness and the view into people’s studios, but I had always ignored the paper dolls as being, well, cheesy… but then I thought maybe the kids would like them.
I decided that I need to take this challenge (to write a page everyday) as a lesson. The goal was to create a writing habit, but I keep getting stuck between my writing goals and my life. If I pay attention to when I am having trouble writing, then maybe I can adjust my writing schedule to where it actually WILL work.
Today we went to the beach with grandma. That would be the Gulf of Mexico, folks. This place has its drawbacks, but the beach is not one of them. So nice. White sand. Warm, gentle water. Sea shells.
It was Ivy’s first time to the ocean and G’s second. They both were a little nervous when they first got into the water, but then they warmed up to it.
When we got home, and after the nap, there was a rain storm, and the kids wanted to go out to play in it. What the heck, I thought. I took off G’s shirt and let them play. After a while, G came and sat down on the steps in the door with me to watch, but Ivy wanted to play and play in the rain, even when she was shivering.
When the lightning got too close, I ended the rain splash time, but G and Ivy went to the porch with Uncle to watch the rain in the shelter, while I finished dinner up.
Dinner was tacos, which G liked. He really had tortilla chips with meat and cheese and salsa, but then he tried to be like Uncle and started adding more things to his tortillas, then Ivy started copying him.
Bedtime. Phew. Big day lead to wired boy. Hard to put down, but hopefully they will stay down through the night. They usually do. For which I would like to take the moment to be thankful.
Bedtime hugs and kisses, climbing into G’s bed w both of them and reading stories, then bedtime, bedtime. Put them down, kiss, “I love you” and then close the door. Shhh. No sounds. Tip toe down stairs. Shhh.
I got myself a new coffee mug. Oh, my indulgences. 4.50. It’s so cute. Nothing fancy, just green glazed pottery with some graphic lines. Good size. Good heft. I can’t wait to have my coffee in it tomorrow. I have missed a good mug.
A grocery trip that I thought was going to cost everything I had in my wallet because I got a few indulgences (mug, toy cars for the kids, pepperoni, sherry… nothing big) but I must have been very budget minded about the things that actually were on my list, because I was only 25$ over my real budget.
A butterfly that flew by my head when I was outside trying to get good reception for my cel phone.
The kids woke up to the sprinkler going in the back yard. Oh how they wanted to play in it. And I let them, even though I had just cleaned and dressed everyone. They had so much fun. And when they were done, they had droplets of water in their hair, glistening like crystal, and big smile on their faces.
I watched The Rocky Horror Picture Show with my uncle last night. With his projection screen, I thought I should have the watergun, umbrella, popcorn, noisemakers, toilet paper, etc that go along with the experience. Instead, we just had spaghetti and red wine and watched the thing. I think I must have been drunk or something the other times I’ve seen it, because I hardly remembered the movie at all. Or maybe it was because I’ve never actually just sat and watched it. It might just be the bestest bad movie ever.
G discovered The X Men, and boy did he love it. He loves the super powers, although I think that he thinks all super power guys are bad guys. I was trying to help him understand that there were also super heroes, who were good guys who took care of people. Maybe I shouldn’t be showing my three year old movies like X Men and Star Wars and Lord of the Rings, but he kind of accidentally stumbled onto the genre… and all of those movies were movies that I avoided showing him because I thought they were too mature, until somehow he found them and was enraptured. Give him a choice between Lady and the Tramp and Lord of the Rings, and he’ll go for the “bad guys” every time.
Not having to go to work yesterday. I had one of the other waitresses take my shift because I was having minor panic attacks about leaving the kids and all the coordinating and really not making much anyway. It was so much easier to take care of the kids by myself when I wasn’t worrying about getting ready to go to work and hauling the kids with me and wondering how my Step Father was going to manage. We just took it easy at home, and it helped.
Left over fish and chips for lunch. An unexpected (I didn’t know it was in the fridge) and hearty meal.
Oh, Ivy has finally discovered strawberries. She always spit them out before, I think they were too tart. But she has just decided she liked them.
So You Think You Can Dance was on tonight and I got to see the auditions… WITH brownie batter on spoon.
Our first night without Papa, and I managed dinner, bathtime, changing time, milk time, story time and bedtime with no problems. It’s been a while since I’ve done bedtime by myself. It’s almost a little easier with out two grown ups. Well, making dinner sucked, but once everyone got fed, it was easier.
I made the kids soup with chicken and greenbeans. Ivy only ate the noodles, but G ate the chicken and the greenbeans and was very happy.
They had chocolate pudding for dessert, and let’s just say it was well received (up to the eyebrows.) They’ve never had chocolate pudding before.
Before Papa left, he took the kids for a ride on their new tricycle, even though it is still too big.
And we had a water fight with their new waterguns. Squirt squirt.
We went out with the grands to have dinner at Bif Burger, a good ole burger joint.
There was a guy playing guitar, and the kids got up and started dancing. They went over to the dance floor and danced up a storm. Danced together, danced with grandma and grandpa, danced with mama and papa, just danced.
G also got to play the tambourine for a song. He didn’t quite get the beat or the way the thing worked, or that he was supposed to play the whole song, but he wanted to walk off with it. He also got his first taste of rock stardom and somehow, I have the feeling, not the last.
I got a comment today on my blog from another blogger I really respect, one who I turn to for inspiration and wisdom. And she said I inspired her. :)
“You are the music while the music lasts.”
T.S. Eliot
“Yes is a world
& in this world of
yes live
(skilfully curled)
all world.”
e.e. cummings
“Mama!”
G The Monkey Man
Bedtime stories, both kids in G’s bed with me, mostly cuddling, only a little squirming, and Papa reading stories to them.
Playing monster with G. I would growl and roll toward him on the office chair and he would scream and laugh and run away, saying “scared!”
Brought home some chicken wings for a fun dinner. Ordered mild, but got some hot sauce for the grown ups to dippity dip.
My mom picked me up from work and we went to stop at my other Uncle’s house. He lives in Georgia or someplace now, but is renting out his house and he came down when the renters left. I missed seeing him, but apparently the renters left some things. So we stopped by the house, looked at the porch and there were some things there, a whole bag of wipes and a cute broom with bug eyes, and…
A RADIO FLYER TRICYCLE!!!! Much happiness ensued when we walked in the door with a tricycle. It’s still a little too big for them, but G is ready to try. My mom says some blocks on the pedals and it will be just fine.
At work, it got busy very early… uncharacteristically, before opening, even. I didn’t even look at the clock until 2 o’clock. Busy makes me happy, even if I’m not really making all that much money, I like to be busy when waiting tables. It’s actually fun. Unless they all ask for their check at the same time, which they did. That is a little stressful.
Went out with my future sister in law, one of her bridesmaids, and my mom to her bridal gown fitting. It was very nice. Girl things. Not mom things.
We also had lunch, and I had a HUGE margarita. Heehee.
I went to the bookstore and got a new journal. It’s the little things, really. And the margaritas.
The kids were happy to see me after I was out doing girl things.
Stopping after work at a pub with S. We had beer and jalapeno poppers which were yummy (even though I had an allergic reaction, probably to they type of oil they used to fry them.)
My boss sent me home, even though there were a dozen people hanging out with empty beer glasses an hour after closing. They were jamming on guitars with the woman who sang that night.
It was nice to have someone singing while I was working, and she was decent.
Watching a special Wednesday version of So You Think You Can Dance. I just wish they wouldn’t waste our time on all the bad dancers when there are so many good ones to see.
Irrepressible G. Laughing. Running. Licking. Swordfighting. Milk Drinking. Yelling. Chasing. Dancing. Singing.
Good natured Ivy. She does whatever G does. Strutting around, exploring, enjoying, kissing, playing.
S and I had a difficult decision to make, one that had been weighing on my mind. It became clear to me that we should not go in that direction and once it was, I made it clear to him that this should not happen, and he agreed. I think it will be better in the long run, although S is frustrated, now. It was a big relief for me to make my own decision, and then to tell him about it.
I wrote again today, after missing yesterday. I’m three days behind, but it felt good to write. Also to edit. I liked slimming some paragraphs down, getting rid of the chaff.
Ivy’s purple pants.
Ivy ran off into the other room, and I was trying to get her to come back to play with us, and I started singing a little “Come Back Ivy” song to the tune of “Goodnight Ladies.” G came running out and started dancing around for her, trying to get her to come back. He was marching around the room, so I started marching too, marching and singing, and we marched and sang so she would follow us and then we were all marching and singing and we got back to the living room and we spun around and laughed.
I found a nice juicy key lime that fell off the tree. Now all I need is some tequila.
Some ideas for improving my blog. My personal blog and the group blog I joined. I came up with a list of titles for the group blog. Things like, “If Mama Ain’t Happy, Ain’t Nobody Happy,” and “I Feel Pretty,” and “The Passion of the Mom.” I think I’m going to try to be a little lighter in the group blog. The place for the woman in the mommying. My personal blog is more about the place for the artist. I’m sure there will be some crossover, but maybe having two separate focuses it will help me have more to write about. The site is actually called domesticglamor.com and I had to think a little bit about what that means, domestic glamor.
It was actually busy (sort of) at work, and I got to be productive and do my job and even make a little money.
Oh, and it’s not noble, but I was right when I told my boss that I wouldn’t need to be at work TWO HOURS EARLY. I finished set up somewhere between a half and hour and 45 minutes after getting there. I didn’t gloat, of course, I simply brought it up to the manager, and she totally agreed and got him to change when we have to come in for morning shifts.
S picked me up with the kids. It was nice to have him drive up and have them all meet me. Kids are always happy to see you.
After work we went to my moms house for some kiddie pool action, sangria and burgers. My brother and sister in law to be showed up for apple pie and we got to hang out a bit.
G saw the Crocodile Hunter on tv and spent some time in his deathroll on the floor, pretending to be a croc. It also got him to eat his dinner.
Got home, put the kids to bed and did not collapse in exhaustion, since I had been on the go from 9 am until 10pm. I brought my laptop to bed and did some rewriting. I don’t even know how much I did because I was too tired to log it in my book, but I do know it was more than I was expecting to do. And my notes from my first reading helped me in my rewrite.
Sat with Uncle and S drinking wine and talking. One of the topics we talked about was 9/11. S and I were both there. Not “there” there, but close. We could see the towers. We both saw or heard the second plane flying. We both were there for the aftermath. We didn’t know each other then, but it is an experience that bonds people. Yesterday, we told Uncle some of our experiences. They aren’t happy memories, but it was a good thing to remember it all and share it.
After work, S and the kids picked me up and we went to a pub and had wings, and I had a couple of beers. We talked to some people with babies and kids. The kids ran around in the playground. They met a baby named Molly, and liked her so much that Ivy named her dolly Molly.
At work there was a little rush, and I proved myself good at what I do. Waiting tables is not a fancy career, but it takes skill and intelligence to do well. I can do it well. And the boss was there to see it.
Oh, and I almost forgot. I was accepted as a writer for a website. I will be writing for glamormom. I think it is glamormom.com but I’m not a hundred percent sure on the URL. It’s where being a woman and being a mom intersect. It is Womom. (Which actually to me sounds like the way the Ferenghi on Star Trek The Next Generation would say “Wo-man.” Which makes me laugh whenever I read that little blurb.) I won’t start making money right away, but hopefully I will as my readership picks up and they start putting ads on my stuff. I haven’t gotten all the information yet, so I’m not quite sure how it all works… but it’s still exciting. And it’s another step in being a professional writer. I will be very excited when I get my first check, even if it’s only for fifteen cents, because that will make me a professional. With very low rates. :)
I worked last night and this morning, so my mom dvrd So You Think You Can Dance and we all went over there after I got out of work and watched it, hung out, drank margaritas (well the grown ups) and played (the kids)
Ivy is getting much more comfortable with Grandma and Grandpa. More independent. She likes to play and run around and ask for cookies.
G enjoyed the dancing, too. So did Ivy. When they heard a song or saw a dancer they liked, they would dance, too. G at least liked to try and copy what the dancer did.
It is nice to get out of the house and work, to be out among adults and talk about things not baby related. It’s nice to feel the warm breeze and drink some ice tea, and do what needs to be done, even if I’m not making a whole lot of cash.
Getting off work. That made me happy. It wasn’t bad, just when you’re working and on your feet, it’s nice to stop.
My last customer was the Cookie Man, the guy famous for bringing, you guessed it, cookies to the staff at the Sunset Grill. I had oatmeal and cranberry cookies. Yum
Singing as I work. I always used to do that. I like it.
Spending some time with just Ivy, while G kept napping. When you’ve got a loud big brother it’s always about divided attention.
I got some writing done before work,almost five pages of rewriting, some new, some old. Even when it’s hard to get started and the writing isn’t inspired, it still feels good to have done it, to have conquered my demons.
Ivy almost falling asleep in my arms before nap. She’s so cute. She lays back and her eyes start blinking very slow and her mouth pouts and she says, “mama, mama.”
Jack Jack Attack… the added material to The Incredibles. G really liked it. And then he liked Dash, too. When he saw the whole show, and Dash was running super speed, it inspired him to run run run fast around the room.
G caught a lizard today! He was looking at it sitting on the bromeliad, pointed it out to me and then all of a sudden, his hand darts out and BOOM! He’s holding it. It surprised him so much that he dropped it and it raced off into the bushes. I think it scared him a little, but it also made him even more interested in lizards. S and Uncle were both proud of him, too, and amazed that he was fast enough and coordinated enough to catch a lizard.
G also found a little baby frog. I thought he was exclaiming about some ants or a plant, but he kept saying no and and pointing until I came over and looked, and there it was, about the size of a dime and gray green. Jump! Jump! I don’t think it could get back into the pond. Then Papa came and picked it up and put it back, talking to G about being gentle with them. G was then very much more interested in frogs, walking around saying “frog, frog.”
Oh, then there was the time that he was watching the unripe mangoes hanging from the tree, pretending that he was going to get them, and looking for my reaction, but really he wasn’t.
And he and Ivy baked a “cake” of dirt.
G had many garden moments today, but Mama had a big one, too. I finally roasted a whole chicken for the first time in my life. And it came out DELICIOUS! I mixed and matched some Martha recipes and some Allrecipes.com recipes and made some potatoes to go with it and boiled some ears of corn. Next time, I’ll make more, because there are no leftovers.
The kitchen was so hot that we decided to eat in the garden. That was nice. Cool, with lizards and frogs and avocado trees. The kids cleaned their plates and then tried to clear ours. The adults had beer or wine. Then the kids went off to play some more and the adults sat and chatted. Yay mamacita.
Oh, and I just applied for a blogging post at a group blog that might pay if I get enough clicks or whatever. It’s a start. It’s actually the first freelance thing I’ve ever applied to, well, for pay. And I joined some other groups and newsletters to get links to jobs. Basically, I took the first steps towards actually being a freelancer, rather than just talking/writing about maybe doing it.
Uncle ordered pizza when he got home, which was good, because due to a grocery shopping mishap, the kids had all the leftovers and the grown ups were too tired to cook once they had gone to bed.
Cut off jeans! Haven’t worn them in years, but I just chopped off the legs of my least favorite pair of jeans and am quite pleased.
Reading books to the kids at bedtime, we all lay in G’s little bed and enjoyed the Alphabet book. G enjoyed acting out the various actions that the animals were doing.
More rain. Short lived rainstorms. And we saw some egrets across the street, splashing in the puddles.
I found an old favorite website, that I probably should have left alone. Bad habit. Time waste. Spent too long on it today.
Getting out of work early and stopping by the pub on the way home with S. Having a beer and chatting. Don’t think we’ve done that without kids in three years.
Dead slow day at work today. This is the painful business of working at a restaurant that has just opened… even if the place has been in business for forty years. But the good part about this is that when it was so empty customers must have thought it was closed, I took my southern Iced Tea and sat at one of the tables outside, and chatted with my colleague, pretending to be eating there. And the weather was nice, and the breeze was fresh and the jasmine still smelled sweet. It wasn’t that bad a place to hang out. Even if I should have been making money.
I wrote, yes I did. Forced it, but it worked. And the words came back, out of the confusion. I should have more faith that the words almost always come back, once I try, honestly try.
I had an idea for keeping track of the thoughts, experiences, creative impulses and maybe even sketches that occur while I am at work. I am thinking of calling them the “Sunset Chronicles,” or the “Restaurant Pages” or something like that. I used to write poems on my dupe checks. I used to paint mini landscapes when it was slow at work. I used to plan novels while watching my tables. I think that might be fun to continue it, probably online.
Lazy day with nothing scheduled to do. Had some coffee and did the crossword, and did better than I normally do.
G is getting better everyday at speaking. He was a little slow with expressive language, but it doesn’t seem to be a problem any more.
A quick rainstorm. I love a rainstorm. It cooled everything off nicely, and the plants were happy.
Uncle worked on the garden yesterday, moving the yucca that had been sitting in front of the pond and getting in the way of the path. He also cut back some of the ferns and other greenery and then did other stuff that is kind of over my head/black thumb. The whole garden looks more open and welcoming now.
Talking with uncle about art and writing and animation and computers and life paths and the business of being an artist.
Getting an hour of writing on my second draft done today, even though it was a lazy day and I didn’t work in the afternoon during nap time. I stuck to my guns and kept up with my self challenge… even if it was a little slower because I am confused about what I want to show in this scene. I’m seeing the process come together. Every draft is another layer.
Reading a book about Counting Kisses to the little guys, and giving, receiving and witnessing many multiples of kisses. Toes, eyes, noses, belly buttons… just flurries of kisses. Many giggles, too.
The kiddie pool. We went all the way and filled it up and let them play. It’s a lot of work to get it ready and clean it up. Next time we’ll start it in the morning and let the play continue all day, instead of it being an afternoon thing. And maybe it will be a little warmer out to avoid the blue lips and shivers and cries of “nooo!” when we try to get the frigid little boy out.
Writing when I said I was going to. And kind of liking what I was writing. Five pages. My story is not dead, it is living on. I will finish this sucker yet.
Setting up my little corner on the enclosed porch where I can shut the doors and keep my laptop and write in peace.
Making the commitment to writing again. I know what needs to be done, I just have to do it.
G seems really happy now. He’s often laughing and or smiling with a huge grin. He’s talking up a storm, even if we can’t always understand. He’s deep into imaginative play, making up stories that have something to do with good guys and bad guys. He gave his sister chicken. Good things for him.
Ivy is just growing up so fast. She struts when she walks. She loves to eat. She now can both nod yes and shake her head no. Her hair is finally growing in, which she is happy about. She gets to play with purses and shoes and hats. She likes to give her brother his pacifiers whenever she finds one lying about.
I made tasty chicken and rice with mushroom sauce. A little rich for my blood, since it was a cream sauce. Next time I will make it lighter.
My new flip flops. Good thing.
Before bedtime, our neighbors down the block visited us in the garden. The little ones enjoyed it. They looked at the polywogs, they played with the sticks, they hugged (the little girls anyway, the boys tussled,) they all said “no, no, no, no!” when parents said it was time for bed for one set and dinner for the other. Beginning of playdates???? We told them another time. Nice parents, too.
Internet connections. More old friends. More readers for my blog. I hope they are enjoying it and aren’t just pervs looking for strange things…. which some of them are, according to my key word analysis. Hopefully they don’t come back. But the people who are interested do. Hopefully. Maybe they will even comment once in a while.
Ivy at bed, found an old sandal of G’s and had me put it on her one foot (only one) and went stomping around the room, trying it out. Stomp, step, Stomp, step, Stomp, step. She is such a girl and so enamored of shoes, hats, bags. Oh yeah, she also stole my cowboy hat and put it on her head herself and ran around the house in it this morning.
S cooked dinner tonight. Pasta with sausage and tomatoes. Yum.
A Target (Tar-Jhay) trip. My second ever. So exciting. One of the benefits of moving out of the city. New flip flops, replacements for my lost sunglasses, a potty seat for the boy, and MILK too.
S and I went out to continue the job searching (I was thinking about upgrading my job to a more upscale restaurant, but was actually advised by a salty old chef to stay where I was, because if I can make it through the chaos of their grand re opening, it will be a steady money maker,) and it was the first time in…almost three years where we were out together alone during the day light.
Beauty and the Beast. I saw it when it came out in the theaters and thought it was pretty good. Saw it again, and I am impressed anew.
A nice glass of wine after the kid’s bedtime. Well, it’s not a fancy glass, but it tastes just fine to me.
Early bedtime for the kids. I don’t know why they were so tired, but they were.
Lots of cuddling, with both kids at the same time. Maybe it’s connected to the early bedtime.
Meeting some neighbors with a couple of kids just a few months ahead of G and Ivy. Nice guy, cute kids.
G and his beloved movies.
Taking a lazy day for myself without the guilt.
Finding out that my blog has been linked to by someone I don’t even know and that someone has also marked me on del.icios.us and I think that’s cool. And people are reading me all over the world! India, Australia, Spain, Yugoslavia, Canada, Italy, Costa Rica, Germany and of course the US. It’s so amazing to think that. And at least one person found me by googling some topic, and THEN CAME BACK. Maybe it’s not a huge readership, but it’s something. I guess I’m enjoying statcounter. It makes me feel like I am not just yelling into the void.
Going through a whole passel of my favorite blogs this morning and totally being inspired to really value my life as it is, despite frustrations and worries and the daily grind and exhaustions. That’s really what this whole happy list is about. I think I am getting closer to being IN those moments as they happen.
G’s happiness at watching the movies we borrowed from my brother. Oh, Disney movies, how he loves you. He loves the good guys and the bad guys. Plus, we stayed out so late last night, that he probably didn’t have the energy for his normal running around swinging the stick morning activities.
Dancing with my two children, holding onto their hands and singing, dancing around in a circle.
Yummy brunch that papa made.
Finding some new blogs that will help me with the kids. It’s all about creative parenting and activities for toddlers and art. I have often felt at a loss with what to do with the very little ones. If they were school age, I could do plenty, but I don’t even really know what preschoolers need. So these sites focused on those things.
Going to dinner at my brother and soon to be sister in law’s. Steak and potatoes and salad. Simple but yummy. Chocolate cream pie for dessert.
G and Ivy were very good babies. Friendly and no tantrums and listening to all the adults and not taking things down off the shelves. All smiles.
The whole family was sitting around on the sectional, watching The Incredibles and at one point, both my brother’s dogs were there, too, so the livingroom was just filled with family all being together and enjoying a good cartoon.
Finally making money, instead of only spending it.
Finding out that the working thing comes right back, and I’m still good at it.
Talking to one of the other waitresses and finding out that she’s an artist and a writer, and many other things similar to me. And that all explained why I liked her right off, before I even knew anything about her.
And maybe it sounds like evil mama, but it made me happy to walk out the door this afternoon, while the boy was in melt down mode. It just wasn’t my job to deal with it right then.
Feeling frequently that I was almost on vacation while I was waiting tables. It was kind of a kick, getting to have adult conversations and just chit chatting with folk and not having to get kids fed and changed and put to bed. I’m sure it will be different when I get wrapped up in whatever drama goes on wherever I am, but right now, it’s just a change.
Oh yeah, it pays to befriend the woman who makes the schedules. I do not have to work on mother’s day! My tentative schedule was Saturday and Sunday, but ended up Sunday free. And I asked her for Sundays off, period, so I could spend time with family and she said no problem. I think I will try to stay on her good side.
Pouring over my recently installed statcounter on my blog and finding that I have readers all over the world. The continental US and Hawaii, Costa Rica, Mexico, Italy, Spain, Great Britain, Germany, Japan, Mumbai! Wow. Those can’t all be family.
Pollywog check. They are beginning to climb out of the pond like some sort of instant evolutionary path. Now they look more like frogs than fishes.
Feeling like the possibilities I have been working on for, oh, years… maybe decades are starting to come together. Or maybe the momentum towards these activities is picking up again after so many years.
Bedtime is going back to being fun and not an ordeal. Still a small struggle, but much better. They both get into bed with their various toys for the night and blankies and bobos and books to “read” to themselves. The boy, at least, does not really go to sleep right away, and often is up for quite some time, but I think he’s developing some strategies to deal with his wakefulness, especially combined with his newfound awareness of good guys and bad guys and the scary monsters.
One really sweet ear of corn that was just yummy. Not until I tasted the others did realize the difference between really good corn and just corn.
Pollywog check: Ladies and gentlemen, we have pollywogs. One of them was sitting on top of a lily pad. Another was floating in the pond off to the side. G and Ivy both got to see it before the boy made some loud noise and scared the pollywogs away.
G calls tatertots “babies.” I thought that was cute.
Animal crackers.
Here come the sitcoms! Yay until the summer hiatus, anyway.
I trained at the new restaurant and it looks like it will work out. It’s casual and laid back, and I think I can get some decent part time schedules, and I am probably the most experienced of the new hires, so if someone goes, it won’t be me. I saw that I could totally handle the job. It’s an old restaurant that has new owners and is being opened again after a few months of being closed, so there was some worry about have a clientele, but this was the first day of reopening, and the regulars were all coming back which means we will make some money [knock on wood]. I think I was really lucky that my step father saw the hire sign the day I was job searching, because there’s not much hiring being done these days.
Sitting with my mom and step dad in the new job after I was done training, chatting and having a beer with them before they dropped me home.
Coming home from training to see the little guys, read them a story and tuck them in.
Going to work was like being on vacation! Lets see if I feel that way after a full day’s work.
Finally getting statcounter to work on my blog and finding I have more than ZERO readers. A couple dozen, in fact. Surprised the heck out of me. Maybe I’m coming back into the world.
ANTM. Almost to the end. We’re down to three “pretty girls standing here before me.” I was too full for my brownie batter tradition, so I had a couple small pieces of chocolate and was good with that.
Dinner at Biff Burger with Grandma and Grandpa Rick. Kids had lots of fun. There were tater tots and motorcycles, and a new toy, and of course grandma. Happy for grownups, too, because we got to have a little relax time.
Ivy went to Grandma voluntarily. No crying, no hiding. She wasn’t exactly running up and hugging her, but she’s getting there.
Went to a thrift store and wandered through the toys and videos. How much fun did the kids have then? I think it might have been fun for G to have to pick only one toy. Choosing is fun, even if putting toys back is not. He ended up getting a Hotwheels Dragon castle thing.
Painting with the kids. They really enjoyed it. Ivy said “paint, paint.” Sometimes I forget how young she is, because she sure talks a lot more than G did at her age.
I finally picked up my paint set and painted a little drawing I had in my journal of animal/people in the woods. G and Ivy were enthralled. That’s why we took out their paints, too.
I think I want to go back to the old idea of selling my artwork on etsy. Or maybe down here in Florida, because for all of it’s weirdness, St Pete is a very artsy town. But the idea I had a long time ago to make a monsters alphabet is coming back. I can see how I might achieve it. The planning I did before being overtaken by the need to move is actually starting to make sense. And my uncle thought it was a great idea, too.
Tacos for dinner. G said, “Man! This is good!” which was really nice, because his verbal ability has been kind of spotty. He’s been talking a lot more since we came down to Florida. I don’t know if it was the change, or he was just ready to start talking. Of course, he didn’t eat the tacos straight up. He basically had tortilla chips dipped in mild salsa and topped with taco meat. No tomatoes or lettuce. Little cheese. He did however ask, quite clearly, for chocolate.
Looks like I got a part time job waiting tables. I’m going in to train on thursday and I have a tentative Saturday and Sunday evening shift. Phew. Let’s see how it goes.
The kids were playing out in the garden with some water “gun” sea animals. They really enjoyed it, although Ivy couldn’t quite shoot the shark or dophin water projectile. Lots of laughter. Lots of wet kids.
My back is slowly getting better. Still hurts, but not constantly, and I can go some time without using the back brace.
I am still on the email list for G’s playgroup and they sent some photos today. It’s a little bittersweet, because I miss my mom friends, but I like to see how big the kids are growing.
The way Ivy struts when she walks.
Went out with my stepfather to troll the restaurants in the neighborhood filling out applications. It doesn’t sound romantic…well, I take it back. It does sound a little romantic to me. Waiting tables part time while staying at home the rest of the time with my kids. I had a lot of fun waiting tables in my 20s. It wasn’t all fun, but a lot was. Had a good lead, in fact the guy says he’ll call me tomorrow, so I might even have the job, and we ended up with my step father buying me a burger and beer at Biff Burger, this outdoor bar and grill he likes to go to. He says that’s my vacation from the kids.
In my wanderings, I found an English style pub that not only has guinness, but also has a little play ground where the kids can run around while the parents watch from the porch tables! And it’s only about five blocks from our house! As soon as one of us gets a job, we can have some outings there. S misses his pub.
G and Ivy chasing each other. They both were laughing the entire time. And they stopped this short from actual wrestling. They are getting very close to being able to really play together. I guess this is the benefit to having them so close together.
I went through the last month’s photos on my computer and deleted probably hundred of photos. I feel good about this because I have so many photos in there that I have no more space on my computer. And also because I have so many photos it is too overwhelming to do anything with them. I’m going to take it as a creative, editorial endeavor. I am hoping that from now on, I will save fewer, but better photos, and not have this problem. And hopefully it is one more step to me getting my photo load under control and maybe posting more pictures.
Emails with old friends. There’s been a lot of that this month, thanks to facebook. No, I don’t need another addiction, but I really do want to be more social and keep in touch.
I made G a light saber out of a flashlight and a rolled up tube of paper taped to said flashlight. He loved it. He watched Return of the Jedi again while swinging it.
Ivy says “beans!” now. It’s very cute. “What do you want for lunch, Ivy?” “Beans!” even though it sounds more like “Bee! Bee!”
Tadpole check. Saw another tadpole with tiny legs growing, not a pollywog yet, I don’t think. Any day now and the froggies will be jumping all over the place. How big do they get? I’ve never actually seen tadpoles go through the process before. It’s neat.
Ivy, who is not really that enthralled with books and/or reading, not only laughed and turned the pages of Brown Bear, Brown Bear by Eric Carle, but also asked for another go round.
At the end of dinner, G was feeding Ivy the leftover beans that he found on every one’s plates. They both like beans, neither really like rice. It was cute to see him giving her the yummy beans, and it made both of them happy.
After dinner, G and Ivy played growling with each other. Sometimes, it was more like screaming, but it was definitely a game for little guys who were full of beans.
During and after dinner, I was composing a blog post in my head, and when the kids went into the garden to have their milk with papa, I went to the computer and wrote.
Experimenting to try and come up with a dish like my grandmother’s rice and beans. Well, it should actually be called Habichuela Guisados y Arroz de mi Abuelita. (If anybody would like to correct my Spanish, I am good with that.) It didn’t really taste like hers, but it was yummy and I am getting closer.
My mom came and picked me and the kids up to go to the Crafts and Farmer’s Market downtown. I don’t know what they really call it, but that was the gyst. We walked around. The boy ran to and fro chased by Grandma (hehe). The girl rode in her deluxe stroller. We listened to music. We watched the sights and the folks. We looked at the art and craft booths, the kids had a cookie. We tasted chips and salsa (I might go back and get some salsa when we get a job.) Then we stopped at a sidewalk cafe and had juice/muffin for the under agers, and mocha frappes for the bigguns. Junior stole grandma’s frappe, though, and we gave him some in his straw cup. Then home and straight to nap for them. So tired, not even the caffeine mattered.
We had pancakes and a sausage, mushroom and scallion frittata, with cheddar. It puffed up so nicely in the oven.
G watched The Return of the Jedi and he loved it. Now he’s seen the whole original trilogy.
G thought the Ewoks were teddy bears and wouldn’t allow me to tell him any different. I went to get his teddy, because he wanted one of the ewoks.
Went through the last month and a half of photos and some of them are pretty good.
Ramen noodles. I know they’re terribly bad for you, but they sure do hit the spot as a cheap, quick meal/snack.
I sent a resume out to a tutoring company through Monster.com. At least I can feel I got something done today.
Started marking down the things I have done in a day in my calendar. Mostly comments on blogs, or, like today, the resume sent. This is stuff for the future or for community that could easily get lost. Just like to keep track of what I am doing so I don’t feel like I am just aimlessly surfing the web.
Chatted with an old student on Facebook. It was nice. He’s running an afterschool program on the Lower East Side. He wants to teach but also wants to pursue anthropology. He makes me proud.
I levelled up to the next Vampire on Facebook. AND I got a new minion. I am such a dork.
Going out in the morning to look at the fishpond. I check to see if the tadpoles have become pollywogs yet. I think their legs are starting to appear. I don’t know exactly how it happens, but they are less round and more bulbous. The boy is interested, too, but he doesn’t really know what is going to happen, despite seeing the transformation on Curious George.
Waking up to the baby girl calling. Going into her room and having her raise her arms for me to pick her up. She was wearing her big brother’s pajamas, because we have to do laundry and she needed long sleeves last night, so she was all cute and boyish in her floppy pajamas.
Lots of new tv. Sitcoms, which I feel starved for, and Lost. Good times. Good times.
Chocolate, just when I needed it and couldn’t resist the nibbles any longer (I have recently decided that I need to watch the nibbling, but refuse to make a goal about weight loss on general principle.) A little chocolate, but no other snacks, good.
Bedtime stories in mama’s and papa’s bed. And then they must have been so tire that they just dropped off without fighting it.
The boy ate sausages. Another food that has re-entered his diet. Still no pasta… BUT he does like ramen noodles. He will eat anything if you call it “soup.” Maybe soon.
The girl, however, was in the pasta up to her eyebrows. And kept asking for more.
Fell asleep while the kids were napping. I lay down to rest my back and just went to sleep. Usually I can only nap when I am sick… I suppose the back thing counts.
Made orange cranberry muffins and the kids had them for snack. They are very sweet. They came out of a box. I think I need to go scratch. Did I say this before?
“This is what it’s like to be alive.” Robert Hass on poetry and what poets are saying.
Poetry talk on PBS, last day of Poetry Month. I like that the poet is not some young buck, but a man who has lived and shows that he lived. There is still hope, there is always hope.
Bedtime, with the girl running around and rolling in her baby alligator death-roll ways, trying to get away from or lure sleep. The boy sitting on the bench while papa reads him a book. Every rhyme makes him laugh, and he repeats the last word. “Cake!” “Buy!” “You!”
The boy ate the chili! Not when I called it chili, but when I called it soup and fed him from my spoon, he said, “mmm,” and asked for more. He also ate some rice, as long as it had soysauce on it. And a bite of corn. Hmm. This week, he has been very adventurous with food…knock on wood, I hope it continues.
Letting the kids play in the cabinet at my feet, with pots and pans…until it got too rowdy and they had to leave the kitchen. It gives hope for a time when I will be able to cook with them in the same room.
Midday movie, the benefits of being unemployed.
My bad back has allowed me to spend all my spare moments laying down, without guilt. I don’t have to get things done, I just need to relax and stretch out what has been pulled, until the little ones demand I get up and chase them or lift them or whatever it was that screwed it up in the first place.
And it is, once again, ANTM. I hope the young girls/wannabe models will make me laugh with their pathos and sigh at their beauty.
A shower after dinner and kiddoes bedtime. I just felt scummy and my back has been bad since I pulled it a week or so ago putting Ivy in her bed. Kids are bad for your health, but the shower was an outoftheroutine way to wash off the day.
Writing poetry, even bad poetry, it gives something for my watery head to do while waiting for the shower to heat up. And the more you write, the more you create, the more there is for you to write and/or create. Like how lifting weights makes you able to lift heavier weights… or do kick boxing or build tree forts or carry the moon on your back… whatever you are aiming for.
G enthralled with his first viewing of Star Wars.
G and Ivy playing together. Oh the playing. Sometimes they are sitting in the same box, sometimes they are playing some sort of fort game, sometimes they are running around the room singing, sometimes they are rolling around on the floor laughing, sometimes they are poking each other with sticks or taking toys from one another or pushing one another to the floor. Good times.
I drew in my journal today. Due to technical difficulties, I have not been doing so well with posting photos, but today I just took my camera and put the self portraits I took on the screen, and then put the paper over the screen and traced the photos onto the paper. Sure it’s not high art, but I like my ingenuity. And I’m thinking of painting the mini self portraits with watercolor, just to fool around and experiment.
Going through some blogs and sites inspired me to draw again.
Morning muffins that I made last night.
Making muffins when the kids went to bed. They came out of a box, but I doctored them up with my magic potions and they were quite tasty when they came out of the oven, all warm and cinnamony. I think I would like to make them from scratch. They wouldn’t be as sweet that way.
After dinner, S took the kids outside in the garden and let them play around. The bonus to this was that I got to clean up undisturbed after making dinner. (I suppose someone else could have cleaned up after I made the whole dinner, but oh well.) It does seem that even chores are a vacation, when you get to do them without toddlers hanging onto your legs, crying, “mama! mamaaaaa!”
I got to take some self portraits with my digital camera, hoping to post some new photos or change my avatars on various sites.
G watched the movie Titan AE and he loved it. Had a hard time sitting through the second half, because I think his attention span was being challenged, but he still loved it.
Putting the kids to bed, I’ve been trying various things to keep G in his bed, rather than having him climb out and fall asleep in front of the door to his room. The latest is to drape a blanket over the headboard and call it a sail, and place his “crew” of stuffed animals at the foot of the bed, and ask him where he’s going to go on his journey that night. Into space like in the movie? To meet a whale and/or mermaid? Looking for hidden treasure? I don’t know if he actually goes on those types of journeys, but he seems to enjoy thinking that he might.
Something bled in the laundry and turned many clothes purple. Luckily, it is mostly Ivy’s clothes, and she looks pretty cute in lavender. It even hides some of the stains. She is, once again, The Purple Girl.
G and Ivy kissing. Ivy has recently learned to pucker up her lips and kiss, and she does so for G, waiting for him to come kiss her, and he does. It’s very cute to see two little hardlymorethanbabies kissing.
The Boy charging up and down the garden path with his sippy cup of milk and his sword/stick. I think he was playing Lord of the Rings.
Getting the shopping done with my mom.
Movies with the grown ups. Have I mentioned that my uncle has a huge projector screen? It’s like going to the movie theater. It has become our nightly routine to watch something.
Alone time. I don’t get to sit by myself and just be. I made sure I got to do that today. Not even kept company by tv or internet, just me and my journal. I think it helped.
S got to see a Yankee game. I think it helped him release pent up energy and put him in a better mood. His beloved “Jankees.”
I made my grandmother’s habichuelas guisadas or stewed beans, and rice, because I was telling my uncle about them, and he told me he’d had them the one time he came to NY when I was about 7. The recipe was not quite hers, because I either left it behind or stored it with my cook books. I’ll haave to talk to my mom about the recipe.
The beans were a big hit. They woke my uncle up from his nap because they smelled good, and he came down for a plate. And the smell got the boy interested while they were still on the stove. He asked me to let him see the beans, so I picked him up and let him look, and then I let him taste and he was very enthused, saying “more, more.” So I made him a plate for dinner and he had three helpings. No rice, but he ate beans! so I’m happy.
When things are tough, and my mood is sinking into the toilet, I am able to go outside into the garden and sit there, listening to the waterfall tinkle into the pond, and the birds chirping and hooting and cawing. I can feel the sun on my face and the coolness of the dappled shade. I can watch the butterflies and the tadpoles and the lizards dart in and out of water, air, land and greenness all about. And I can breathe and get my head back on straight.
Chili dogs for lunch.
Finishing the hard sudoku.
G figured out a way to pretend to be Spiderman. He takes his blankie, and it’s various dangling strings and flings it out at you like Spidey’s webflinging. He has spent the morning trapping baby sister until she got too cranky, and then I found myself frequently wrapped up in baby blue knit spiderweb.
